Step 1: Opposition criticises sale of Government assets.
Step 2: Opposition gets elected then announces findings from private study ie: their own Think Tank, which reveals there is no alternative but to sell publicly owned assets. Ignores howls of protest from ‘the rabble’, aka: the voters who believed their promise about retaining publicly owned assets.
Step 3: Big Corp buys asset and rebrands it. Mum and Dad investors rush to buy shares. Overinflated share values halve overnight, leaving Mum and Dad investors with fistfuls of high-priced stock they can’t sell.
Step 4: Massive staff cuts are followed by regional branch closures and tripling of fees and charges in order to ‘Improve Customer Service’.
Step 5: Managers’ yearly salary is quadrupled because ‘If you pay peanuts you get monkeys’. Ground floor staff ask for a small cost of living pay increase, and are immediately branded greedy, non-team players.
Step 6: Money earmarked for improvements, or infrastructure maintenance, is diverted to pay shareholder dividends and management bonuses.
Step 7: Wheels fall off. Manager and board take no responsibility, but demand financial assistance from Government, or from foreign investors, because company is ‘Too Big to Fail’.
Step 8: Manager angrily denies rumours that company is moving offshore. Company moves offshore. Staff numbers take another massive hit up the shorts.
Step 9: Government revenue drops, unemployment soars, so more publicly owned assets are earmarked for privatisation.
Step 10: Opposition criticises sale of Government assets.
Meanwhile, I scratch my thick head and wonder if publicly owned assets are posting profits why are we getting rid of them, and if they’re not profitable, who’d want to buy them?