Category Archives: Gladstone Sobserver Columns

Saturday Sobserver Satire – New Newspaper Roll Out!

The New Improved Sobserver!

The New Improved Sobserver!  Softer!  Less Smearing

Next week the Sadstone Sobserver will be re-relaunched in a new, improved, roll format.

Editor in Briefs, Al Summer, made the bold decision after being told that locals didn’t think his paper was good enough to wipe their bottoms. “Well, it is now!” he declared from his bunker deep in the bowels of the Sobserver office block.

“Even though we’re plumbing new depths by going from a broadsheet to a two-ply sheet, we’ll still be covering the same crap,” added Mr. Summer, “but with a slightly softer touch, and much less smearing.”

Sadstone Sobserver Rolls can be purchased singly, or in packs of ten.

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Saturday Sobserver Satire: People Powerhouse!

State Parliament House is now being powered by juvenile delinquents.

State Parliament House is now being powered by juvenile delinquents.

Sadstone Power Station will soon be generating electricity using three massive hamster wheels being turned by the unemployed, overweight, unfit, bikies, criminals, refugees and pensioners.

Arch Premier Campy Nooman jetted into Sadstone yesterday to announce his latest brain puff.  “Construction of the first giant wheel is underway, and it will be powered by all the dole bludging folk I made redundant last year.”

Canned-Do also unveiled his plan to halt all future wind, tidal and solar generators, and utilise People Power instead.  Householders will be able to apply for rebates for smaller hamster wheels which can be turned by family pets, or passing vagrants.

Arch Premier Nooman admitted he came up with the idea whilst tormenting the pet hamster he keeps on his desk.

“It’s clean and mean, which is just how we like it!” he told our stunned reporter.

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Saturday Sobserver Satire: O’Dudd Does It Again!

Tony: "In future Kan, remember to stick to the right hand side... the far right hand side."

Tony: “In future Kan, remember to stick to the right hand side… the far right hand side.”

Last Thursday the Member for Flint, Mr. Kan O’Dudd, voted with the opposition after chatting with Clyde Palmoil of PUMP (Palmoil United Mining Party).

“I blame the hypnotic way his jowls wiggled,” explained Mr. O’Dudd, “I was left dazed and confused.”

Sadly for Mr. O’Dudd, this was not his only mistake of the night.  After the vote, Kan was to attend the Lieberal Party Bingo Function at Ming Mansion, “But somehow, I found myself enjoying the hospitality at Harry’s Hemp House,” he told surprised reporters, “it was a mistake anyone could make.”

It was only after donating twenty three thousand dollars and buying a fistful of tickets on the Free Range Chook Raffle Wheel did it occur to Kan that he was actually at a Greenie Party fundraiser.

“I should have known I was in the wrong place from the start as everyone was very tolerant and extremely cheerful.  I left immediately after winning the nights’ grand prize; an all-expenses paid Minke Whale Watching Cruise around the Southern Ocean!”

News of Mr. O’Dudds’ mistake had been relayed to Parliament House where Prime Misogynist, Tory Rabbitt, demanded Kan’s appearance in his chambers immediately.

“Storm in a tea cup,” muttered Mr. O’Dudd as he strolled through the doors leading to Opposing Leader Dill Shorty’s office.

Original Article here:  http://www.gladstoneobserver.com.au/videos/ken-odowds-embarrassing-gaffe-parliament/22863/

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