Daily Archives: July 5, 2014

Saturday Sobserver Satire: People Powerhouse!

State Parliament House is now being powered by juvenile delinquents.

State Parliament House is now being powered by juvenile delinquents.

Sadstone Power Station will soon be generating electricity using three massive hamster wheels being turned by the unemployed, overweight, unfit, bikies, criminals, refugees and pensioners.

Arch Premier Campy Nooman jetted into Sadstone yesterday to announce his latest brain puff.  “Construction of the first giant wheel is underway, and it will be powered by all the dole bludging folk I made redundant last year.”

Canned-Do also unveiled his plan to halt all future wind, tidal and solar generators, and utilise People Power instead.  Householders will be able to apply for rebates for smaller hamster wheels which can be turned by family pets, or passing vagrants.

Arch Premier Nooman admitted he came up with the idea whilst tormenting the pet hamster he keeps on his desk.

“It’s clean and mean, which is just how we like it!” he told our stunned reporter.

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BROKE! The Movie.

Steve playing 'a not very nice person at all' in Last Train to Freo

Steve playing ‘a not very nice person at all’ in Last Train to Freo

A movie called ‘Broke’ is currently being filmed right here in Gladstone!  And, oddly enough, it’s not based on my financial history.

I did score a small part though, after the producers misheard a comment from a mate who had described me as a ‘full on bit of an artist’.

So, as ‘Walking Customer #2 at the service station’, my dazzling four seconds of acting bought a depth to the role that was slightly deeper than the paper it was written on.

Although my best acting was done behind the scenes when I pretended to be assisting the caterers; but was actually Hoovering up all the good snacks.

In between scoffing down free food and thumbing through the expensive magazines in the service station, I caught up with the nice folk who were making the film; usually just after they’d asked me, “Who are you?  And why are you drinking my coffee?!”

The lead actor, Steve le Marquand, plays a down and out ex-footballer living on Gladstone’s streets, and he’s captured the role so perfectly that when he wandered over to introduce himself, I growled, “Shove off pal, these sandwiches are for the cast and crew!”

Fortunately, I wasn’t the only one fooled.

Apparently several passing locals also offered Steve money and food during filming and he was so impressed by our local generosity that he declared, “If I ever end up living on the streets, then I’m definitely doing it here in Gladstone.  It’s warm, and the locals give you stuff!”

At this point I politely asked him not to spread this around when he got home.

Filming wraps up in a couple of weeks’ time, and if you’d like to meet one of the stars, just look for a broke looking bloke ‘assisting’ the caterers.

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