Hello Granddaughter #1, and Welcome to Planet Earth! We hope you enjoy your time here.
First the good news: You’ve managed to land in a pretty good part of a pretty great country, and are surrounded by a loving family. Plus, if the Facebook commentary is any guide, quite a lot of folk you haven’t met yet will be cheerfully looking out for you as well.
Now for the bad news: the world you’ve just entered is not perfect. I’m really sorry about that. Lots of us have been working very hard for quite a long time to make it a better place, but certain folk aren’t playing the game.
And I’m going to be brutally honest here, one of your Grandparents is very opinionated, has no dress sense and likes to break wind in public; but if I’ve learned to live with Long Suffering Grandma then so can you.
Also, Granddads’ beer fridge is full of poisonous medicines which only Granddads’ can drink.
Ok, that’s the bad stuff out of the way, now for the Great News!
Whenever you’re in the presence of your Grandparents, Great Grandparents and Aunties, everything you say, and do, will be greeted with praise, encouragement, smiles or laughter. Get used to being photographed.
As a bonus, for even the tiniest of deeds, you will be showered with gifts and rewards; most of them will involve chocolate and sugar; particularly just before it’s time for you to go back home to your Mummy and Daddy.
Finally little one, there’s a whole stack of stuff your new Grandparents want to show and teach you, but much of it will have to wait for now. In the meantime we’ll spoil you rotten, and trust me kid, that’s one job we’re really looking forward to!