Daily Archives: February 27, 2013

Beware the Library Police!

Don't mess with 'em!

Don’t mess with ’em!

 Dear Library Ladies:  I just got home from the best library in Queensland and informed Long Suffering Wife that I’m going on a blind date!  She seemed overjoyed at first, but looked disappointed when I showed her the plain wrapped book I’d borrowed from your ‘Blind Date with a Book’ display.  While she spent the afternoon crying, I started reading my Blind Date book.  It is very good.  Gb

Dear Greg:  We are glad you liked the Blind Date book, and hope that it has inspired you to push your literary boundaries.  After reviewing your reading record, we think it’ll make a pleasant change from the many self-help, western, fantasy and comic books you seem to read.  Our records also indicate you have several overdue books, could you please return them ASAP?  Library Ladies

 Dear Library Ladies:  You seem to have a lot of books for ‘Dummies’.  Why?  Gb

Dear Greg:  We try to cater for all tastes, and often remark on your fondness for ‘Dummies’ books.  Perhaps you should borrow ‘Responsibility for Dummies’?  BTW, the book your wife reserved has been returned.  We think she may be quite looking forward to reading ‘Divorce for Dummies’.  Ask her to return your overdue books when she comes up. LL

 Dear Library Ladies:  What happens if I can’t find my overdue books?  Gb

Dear Greg:  We will hand over your details to the Library Police, at which point the following titles may come in handy:  Coping with Loss, and Living with Pain.  Seriously Greg, you don’t want to mess with these people.  Please, return your overdue books now! LL

Dear Library Ladies:  Some large people with bolt cutters are banging on my front door and claiming to be from the Library Police.  Once I have dealt with them, I will pop by and enjoy a good laugh at the little prank you have played on me!  LOL!! Gb

Dear Mrs Bray:  Thank you for returning your husband’s books, did he know you had ‘misplaced’ them?  We hope he gets well soon.  LL

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