Gladstone Carmageddon

This is what I'm going to start driving to work.

This is what I’m going to start driving to work.

I don’t think I really knew how to swear until I started driving. Yet during the past year, the antics of some of the idiots puttering around our fair city have actually left me speechless.

But for the last two weeks, I’ve had very little to complain about. The drastically reduced amount of traffic on our streets over the Xmas break has made driving to work and back an almost pleasant experience.

My fellow motorists are cheerfully giving way, using their indicators, not cutting me off at roundabouts, and even holding up all their fingers when they wave at me!

Things are so good, that I actually saw an old lady push a loaded shopping trolley onto the four lanes of horror known as Philip Street, and make it to the other side! Of course, watching her didn’t do my heart any good.

Plus there’s also been a delightful reduction in the number of trucks on our streets. Normally when I back out of my driveway, a sensor fitted to my letterbox alerts the ever vigilant folk at Big Truck Control that I am leaving home. A series of commands are quickly issued, so by the time I reach the end of my street at least two heavily laden trucks are lying in wait for me. And for some reason they’re generally piloted by folk with patience issues, and a complete lack of consideration for other road users.

But best of all, it seems that all the tailgaters appear to be on holidays! After months of being passed by wild eyed, abusive, rubbish tossing maniacs, I decided to get my cars’ speedo checked just to make sure it’s working correctly; let the record show, my Speedometer is Accurate. So obviously it’s my refusal to drive at least 20 kph over the posted speed limit that has been causing all my problems.

And while it’s been quite nice having a break from driving in ‘The Gladstone Thunderdome’ during the last fortnight, I suspect things will return to ‘normal’ on our roads next week.

In fact, I’ll swear on it.

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