Here, in Gladstone!

Like a lot of people living in Gladstone, I’m from somewhere else. In fact, I was from somewhere else, stayed a while, went someplace else, and then came back. I don’t know why, none of us do, it’s that kind of town.

And for the many new arrivals to our part of the world, I’d like to explain what life is like for your average Gladstone resident.

Here in Gladstone, it wasn’t so long ago that you needed to have at least three generations behind you just to qualify as an outsider, but thanks to the high number of folk arriving in recent times, it only takes a mere seven years to become a fully-fledged local now.

Here in Gladstone, drinking is not considered a past-time, it’s a way of life.

Here in Gladstone, even our few cultured citizens know the unofficial chorus of The Angels song “Am I Ever Going to See Your Face Again?” Mum, if you don’t know what it is, don’t ask… seriously!

Here in Gladstone, if the top of Mt. Larcom is covered in cloud it’s a sure sign that it will rain soon. It’s also a sure sign that someone will trot out the tired old Gladstone joke: “The Sleeping Giant is smoking in bed again!”

Here in Gladstone, if you’re popping into the shops for a few minutes then it’s ok to go barefooted, because our shop floors are very clean.

Here in Gladstone, we like nicknaming things and making it official, eg: Tannum Sands originated from, “We took the kids to the beach to tan ‘em.” It will only be a matter of time before workers on Facing Island officially rebrand the place ‘Alcatraz’.

Here in Gladstone, schoolkids play an extreme game of Duck. Duck. Goose! Lining up on Philip Street near the Kin Kora roundabout, they yell, “Truck. Truck. Ute!” then dive between the speeding vehicles. Losers get quite a lot of time off school.

Here in Gladstone you’ll never have to own a tuxedo, thermal undies or earmuffs.

There’s lots of other stuff I could mention, but if you hang round long enough you’ll soon pick it up. And should you decide to pack up and leave us, well, ‘Ciao for Now’, but we’ll be here to poke fun at you when you come back!

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