OCCUPYing Gladstone

Here in Gladstone we must have missed the email to participate in the global OCCUPY movement.  Mind you, if the lack of vacancies in our hotels, motels, spare rooms, sheds, and dog kennels are anything to go by, Gladstone couldn’t possibly get anymore occupied at the moment.

Perhaps this is why we weren’t too keen to join the Occupy protesters.  Because the last thing you want to find after occupying a public space for a few days is that someone has decided to occupy your home while your back was turned.

And where in Gladstone could you hold a protest?  The Kin Kora shopping district is out for starters.  Passers-by won’t know if you’re actually protesting, or just angry at being trapped in the now 24/7 traffic jam.

Goondoon Street plaza is probably your best choice, but it can be a little quiet.  Which was why I was surprised to see a large group of people gathered there recently.  I couldn’t tell if they were Occupiers, or just regular folk mooching about shouting into their mobile phones, because from what I’ve seen on tele, it’s pretty much the same thing.

I never found out who they were, because while I was shackling Pubtruck, my faithful pushie, to a ‘No Parking’ sign, the group shuffled off.  Like a herd answering some secret signal, they silently disappeared into the nearby shops, offices and meeting rooms, leaving me standing alone on the main drag, surrounded by some freshly flattened cigarette butts and a passing tumbleweed.

At this point my common sense wandered off as well, because I marched straight into the Council Chambers and applied for a permit to hold a public demonstration.  That’s the sort of action man I am folks.

So as soon as the Council approves my application, I’ll start my one man Occupy protest.  I’ve already packed my tent, a fistful of muesli bars and a cricket box (just in case any security guards decide to test drive their boots on my crotch).

My demands are fairly simple; so simple in fact, that I actually have no idea what I want, which will make it fairly difficult for our civic leaders to meet my vague demands.  Hopefully I’ll think up something during my protest.  Plus I’m also planning to use the event to make a little cash on the side; leasing out the spare space in my tent to homeless workers. (Italics were edited out)

Vive la Revolution!


Filed under Gladstone Observer Columns

2 responses to “OCCUPYing Gladstone

  1. Ian

    Why would you want to occupy Gladstone?
    I would have started sending boats to remove people from the place. Residents would have a better place in detention centres than the smog, ocean polution and crap that is going on in that place. So start a people smuggling business

  2. gladbloke

    Smog? Ocean Pollution? Crap??!! Sorry, I just got back from Brisbane… now there’s a place that needs an evacuation centre 🙂

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