As my family’s chief dog wrangler I spend a lot of time wandering Gladstone’s streets leashed to two mobile urine sprinklers.And apart from a couple of weeks each year, the footpaths are generally empty, the main users tend to be me and the other ‘regulars’; the unlicensed, schoolkids, and fellow soft-hearted saps who have had dogs foisted on them.
But recently the paths have filled with joggers training for the 2nd Botanic to Bridge fun run. Now, a few of them have dropped out, possibly after springing a fetlock from skidding in dog poo (that’s dog owners for you), and some of them have nearly been killed because they can’t hear the horns, or screeching tyres, of the trucks that they’ve brainlessly stepped out in front of while fiddling with their i-Noise thingy. Which hasn’t done my heart, or the truckies’ nerves, a lot of good I can tell you.
And among the bustling, lycra clad crowds is a large-ish lady who I’ve been secretly cheering on. She’s out nearly every day and has been steadily improving, because each week her face is a little less purple.
Now, because I like to help, I decided to pay her a compliment in order to keep her motivated. So as she shuffled by I cried, “Keep Going Mate, You’re Doing Great!” She leaped from the path and collided with a small bush. Scrambling to her feet, she then took off at an amazing gallop; my inspirational help had obviously worked wonders!
She disappeared for a while, but earlier this week, I spotted her in the distance and yelled, “You Can Do It!” From the way she stopped, then sped off in the opposite direction, I could see my little pep talk had once again lifted her performance. It’s nice to help.
If you happen to know that lady, as she must have mentioned my rousing talks to someone by now, could you get her to contact me? Because she might want to continue training after the Fun Run, and as I can’t be around all the time to encourage her, I’ve worked out the perfect motivational strategy to keep her exercising year after year.
She needs a dog; or better yet, two dogs! And fortunately, I happen to know a bighearted bloke who is extremely keen to offload a couple of mutts right now.
As I said, I like to help.