Daily Archives: June 16, 2010

Freezing with Auntie ABC

Logged onto the ABC news site this morning, and noticed the two stories below, both of which gave me some unexpected laughs upon waking up after a cool night at work:

Victoria Braces for Freezing Weather


 The State Emergency Service (SES) is urging Victorians to take extra precautions, with the weather bureau forecasting damaging winds to hit most parts of the state tonight.

Weather forecasters are predicting damaging winds across most of Victoria tonight and tomorrow as a strong cold front will bring a wintry blast from this afternoon.

Ok, nothing funny so far, but the at the bottom of the article I saw that Auntie ABC was asking for comments on this ‘vital topic’, and geez I’m glad she did because it gave some folks the chance to make the rest of us smile, (comments in brackets are mine) 🙂

Auntie:  Are you feeling the cold?

Reply:  I like the cold. The colder the better.  (Mr. Ice Cube is baaaack!)

Reply:  As soon as I get feeling back in my fingers I’ll let you know!  (that will be roughly some time around October… good to see you can still type though)

Reply:  oh yeah.. try riding a scooter in this weather.. numb in 10 mins… (mate, you should try riding a pushbike in this weather, numb getting on the thing)

Reply:  I`m a lolly pop lady in Southwest Victoria and I’ve needed to have Tuesday and today off sick maybe I`ll take Thursday off for inclement weather too (obviously every snow filled cloud has a silver lining of permafrost for some, but my question to the Lolly Pop Lady is: the children!  Won’t someone think of the children?!  Who will carry on your vital work while you’re at home rugged up and snickering to yourself?!)

And finally an optimistic sounding chap calling himself, ‘The Jovial Monk’ wrote:  Hate the cold!  (now here’s a fella with a heart full of love…)

And speaking of love, one of the words for Love in Greek, is Agape, which is also having some ‘freezing’ problems of its’ own as I read in the next story: 

Freeze widened on Agape Ministries assets


"I'm here to talk to you about Jesus, and you're going to listen!"

Agape Ministries (some sort of neurotic Pentecostal, ‘End Times’ outfit) –  sprang to life on the spurious claims that its members would go to hell if they were microchipped and that the government would put them in concentration camps, gas or behead them if they refused the chips.

Police found a cache of guns, and a haven on a South Pacific island, to protect them from microchips the government was planning to implant in all humans.

Criminal proceedings are also underway against two alleged members who were arrested for firearms offences after raids on Agape Ministries.

Police allege they seized significant quantities of ammunition, rifles, batons and other weapons in the raids.  They are also wanted for fraud, and the leaders remain on the run, or in hiding. 

Cash and guns?  This might the religion for me?!  It is clear that Agape Ministries have decided that where the Disciples went wrong, was putting their trust in the Lord.  Agape Ministries, the ministry of Loooove, has decided that a little proactive ‘hidden advantage’ might even up the odds of surviving the coming holocaust against Christians.  Good for them…

Meanwhile, here in Gladstone, I’ll be doing some freezing of my own.  The ol’ swimming pool is still leaking, and I’m procrastinating about getting into the thing with a pair of goggles and trying to find the pinhole leak.  

Mind you it could be worse, I could be in Victoria getting frostbite at some busy intersection while waiting for a missing lolly pop lady to show up 🙂

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