Mondays’Column – At Worlds End 3.5.10

According to the Mayan Calendar, the world will end in 2012, and if it does, then I for one will be a little bit miffed, because I’ve just finished repainting our house and the new coat has a ten year guarantee.

And lately there have been plenty of signs about to convince many that the world as we know it is teetering on the verge of collapse: peak oil, earthquakes, wars, tidal waves, melting ice caps, cyclones, Bob Katter Jr. making sense.  The omens are certainly stacking up. 

Of course, the Mayans’ don’t have a monopoly on end time prophecies, nearly all the major religions foretell some sort of worldwide catastrophe, and our only hope of surviving the coming calamity is to believe in their particular brand of faith.  I reckon it’s going to come as a bit of a shock to some of them when the ‘winning faith’ is finally announced; particularly if it turns out to be the Rastafarians.        

Personally, I’m leaning towards the Viking doom called Ragnarok; the war of Fire and Ice.  The last great battle between Odin’s army and their enemies, the ice giants, dragons, wolves, and taxation officials.  According to the legend, the sun goes dark, the earth sinks, the stars fall from the sky, and practically everyone gets wiped out.  Sounds exactly like the end of the world; or just a standard, run of the mill tax audit. 

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the volcano with the unpronounceable name is erupting in Iceland; Fire and Ice.  Yessirree, if you ask me, (which no one has yet, but I’m ready just in case) then it’s definitely Ragnarok. 

So, what hope is there for us?  Well, like all the other prophecies, there is a slim chance that some of us will survive, along with the cockroaches and merchant bankers.  And I’m certain that as soon as we crawl out of the rubble and had a bit of a look round, we’ll immediately find things to hate about each other, and the cycle of ‘fun’ will start all over again.   

With this in mind I’ve been wondering if I should borrow an insane amount of money and live it up a little, because if I time it right then I won’t have to pay back a single red cent!  Of course, the world had better end by 2012 or I’m going to be in an awful lot of trouble. 

Aren’t we Kevin?

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